Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Things that make you go hmmmm!
One of the hardest things for me to comprehend is why it is so difficult to have a dialog in our community about child molesters. Why is it that in our community, the first instinct is, “It’s not true” “no way, I know him personally, he wouldn’t do it”, etc. There must be a reason for this resistance and it must be a common ground, to break this pattern.
I have spoken to a couple of professionals recently (Both, IN and OUT of our community) and I think I am making “some” progress in understanding the mind set of our way of thinking.
It is very normal for someone to be ashamed of an act even though he is not the guilty party, and the statistics prove it. Universally, people are ashamed to tell stories of molestation even 30 years after the fact, because they feel some kind of an embarrassment, guilt or shame. I personally saw it recently, when I took all the courage that I possibly can, and exposed my molester 40 years after the act. I got a doze of hate email, and accusations of fabricating this story, and even some threatening emails and plenty of blessings and good wishes (i.e. hope you and your family dies of cancer).
In our community it goes even a step further. We have a much more sensitive reaction to exposure or to being in the spotlight! We were brought up with some sick stance that the most important thing in life is to make sure that the community loves you, adores you and respects you. As I mentioned in a previous article, we call it the 10 years behind symptom!
Another major downfall in our system is something called “Emotions”. People don’t think with their heads, but rather with the “hearts”. People don’t think with the Law or requirement, but rather with their “feelings”.
At first glance this might sound to you as a great feature or great quality in a human being! But its not! It’s a great injustice! There is a time when you need to use your heart, but there is a time when you need to use your brains and your head. Imagine how our justice system would look if they would punish people with “feelings” or “heart”, there would be chaos and pandemonium on the streets. There would not be a justice system, because you will always find it in your “heart” to forgive him.
You want to use your heart? No problem! Go and volunteer in the homeless shelters, help feed the sick, go to an old age home, etc. there is plenty things and places where you can use the generosity of your “heart” and your “feelings” to good use, but don’t do it on the pain of YOUR young innocent kids. Don’t let your “feelings” ruin others and cover up bad deeds of others, on the account of innocent kids with out a voice. Do it on your account and on your time.
Let me give you a perfect example. There is a guy among us with the name Shmuel Borger. Let’s cut to the chase with this scumbag. Under normal circumstances he should’ve been kicked out of every Jewish community worldwide years ago. This animal has a history of abusing, molesting and defrauding and there are victims “On record” pointing to all of his evil work.
Let me point out, to his credit he is a very astute man. He knows how to manipulate you, he knows how to prey on your conscious and he knows how to get you at your most vulnerable times and take advantage of you. I had the privilege of interviewing recently a former victim from his choir, a current family member and a FORMER family member. You will not believe what this man is all about. (BTW most molesters are very shrewd and sharp, and that’s a tool they use against their victims).
Shmuel Borger had the audacity to use his son’s tragic death to his advantage. There are stories being revealed now (coming soon to You Tube) on how this scumbag worked his “magic” in those 24 hours “from the jump – till the end of the funeral” to his advantage.
Why is he getting away with it? Because you think with your feelings and your hearts. “Awwee, this guy nebech lost a son” “Awwee, he comes across so nice”. The reality of what happened to his son is very sad , and more and more information confirms what we already knew then, and his own family is talking about it. However, "that" part does not justify his evil doings, and the death of his son does not give him a free pass for the abuse and fraud he did TO HIS OWN FAMILY MEMBERS!
He released a whole “Tears for moshiach” video in the name of “love for my son” – “His last request”. Baloney on
! It was a perfect business move for him and a perfect time to promote his videos and a perfect time to prey on your “Emotions and heart” Rye
You would not let a murderer off the hook, because he lost his father to cancer. Would You? Get it in to your head, A Molester is on the exact same level as a Murderer!
(You probably read a lot between the lines that I am holding back some info on this guy, you will understand soon)
Another major issue I found was the lack of knowledge and the failure of taking a stance. People are confused with the Jewish law and “Loshon Hora” laws and they won’t to do wrong. To that I would point you to the videos we have posted a while back and see for yourself how important it is and how you MUST report a molester to the Police dept. according to Jewish law.
In closing. It is extremely important that you use common sense and Jewish laws and Laws of the land when you make such a critical decision, like protecting young children! There is no time to get all mushy and emotional on the individual and “feel bad for his family” OR “He looks like a nice guy” kind of excuses. Take that emotion and place it on the victim, and place it on the 8 year old innocent boys and girls who did nothing wrong but went to school, walked the streets, joined a boy’s choir, went to the park, etc. And take the rage of the pain this child will live with for the rest of his life and throw it back at the culprit and demand justice. Stand up for you rights! Stand up for your community! Stand up for your children! And stand up for your future generations!