Tuesday, September 21, 2010

10 years behind!

I have gotten so much hate mail after the last two articles I posted, that it gave me a whole new bundle of energy to write even more and expand on my agenda to end child molestation and sexual abuse in our community.

As a Chassidic person myself and a member of the Williamsburg community I have witnessed first handedly the “10 YEAR BEHIND” syndrome and I think its time to let go of it.

30 years ago, when a family had a child “Lo uleinu” that was not healthy or was mentally challenged, he or she were basically put away in a closet and was hidden from the public, so the rest of the family can live a “normal” life, and the neighbors should not know about it.

It took years and years of convincing the community that it’s no ones fault that you have a sick child, and it is not a bad reflection on the rest of the family, and its time to go for help.

Little by little, the community started to see that it is not acceptable and they must change what they are doing, and follow the right way of doing things, they went for help, and one family supported the next one, and before you knew, there were many organizations (i.e. Chush, Yeled v’yalda, Refuah, etc.) in the community, and it was standard procedure for families to use these organizations as needed.

If you stop and think for a second. “Why would you hide a child and not help him“? It is almost impossible to imagine that a normal human being would withhold any possible help and assistance from their own child. That’s how odd it seems now! but back then, the majority of our community did not think this way. It took us 10 years to catch up with the rest of the world and recognize the importance of it.

Imagine how many more kids would’ve enjoyed a healthy lifestyle if their parents would have just given them that little extra help they so badly needed. Imagine how many grown men and women are deprived of a normal life, due to the lack of therapy they didn’t get as a little infants.

In today’s age if a parent has a baby that was born 3 lbs instead of 6 lbs or any other type of complication, the city automatically offers you physical therapy, occupational therapy, speech therapy and any kind of help and assistance to make sure this child has a real chance in life. If a woman would refuse this help you would say that she is crazy and furthermore the city would investigate why she is not allowing this help, that’s how vital this help is and that’s how normal these procedures are.

Ladies and gentleman, I believe when we are talking about molestation and child abuse, we are in the middle of the “10 year behind” syndrome!

Lets fast forward 10 years from now, Let’s make believe we are in the year of 2021when its “normal” to have a video camera in every classroom, when its normal to report a sexual predator in our community, when its normal to protect our children, when its normal to get rid of teachers that are molesters, when its normal to do a background check on every single employee at your kids school, when its normal to educate our little kids about the bad people that try to lure them in and how they should protect themselves, when its normal that a kid comes forward and your first instinct is not to say “you are a liar”, when its normal to have 50 rabbi Rosenbergs in Williamsburg preaching awareness, You will look back at today’s age and say WHAT WERE THEY THINKING? WHY WERE THEY SITTING IDLE? DID THEY NOT CARE?

Never mind the fact that satmar will somehow take credit for it and claim that they worked all along for it. Never mind that the rabbis will eat their own dust and somehow find a way to blame Yitzchok stern for the whole isolation letter. Nevertheless it will be normal procedure every single thing that Rabbi nuchem us telling you now!

The million dollar question though, is WHY WAIT? WHY NOT NOW? Look at the statistics! Every day that passes, your kid has a greater chance of being abused and molested. When will you wake up? It is embarrassing that I even need to push you to do this! Your instinct as a parent should push you to get involved! Your instinct as your child’s protector should kick-in and you should do everything possible even if its only 1% possibility - let alone when the numbers are at 20% (1 out of 5 boys).

Lets cut down to the chase! You must be real gullible to think that there is no molesting happening in our community. On the other hand though, you don’t hear anything from the leaders and Rabbis. So what gives? It’s being whitewashed! It’s being pushed under the rug. Your kids will grow up and they will hate you for not supporting them – if you are lucky-, If you are not that lucky, you might not recognize them! I am not asking you for an unachievable project, I am not asking you for an impossible assignment, I am not asking you for a large amount of money. I am asking you to double check on the well being of your children! Is that too much to ask? Can you ever be too protective of your little neshumele? If he would get a little cut on his forehead you would travel hundreds of miles to find a doctor that does great stitches, so his face looks beautiful. Doe he not deserve 10 minutes of your time that you should check out his surroundings? Forget me, Forget Rabbi Nuchem, Forget the politics! Just do it for your kid!


  1. Dear NIR,

    You are doing a marvelous job, your work is needed and it is priceless. You got the support of thousands and thousands of us that have no voice of our own because we are in a system that is manipulated by our “ointment of the crop” but be aware that your portion of “Olem habau” waiting for you is bigger than you can ever imagine. Keep going strong and I pray for your recovery of the abuse you received as a child and wish you all the best.

    I Am a mother of 6 children in our school system and am constantly thinking about my kids and worried for them. I read your articles religiously and listen to the hotline every week, and you got all my support in the world.

  2. Dear mother, a very big yasher koach to you. This war can not be won without the mothers. Please mothers, take up the cause, march in the frontline, and storm the barricades. Who am I to tell you. However, you are so badly needed. You mothers take this very very seriously, unlike some men here commenting, who are more concerned about loshen hora. You mothers don't go for it. No way.

  3. I think you will ultimately prevail. Because at the end of the day, everyone realizes that what you are fighting for is the proper and correct way. But to get to that point, many people, even in a position of power, will try to thwart you and will do everything possible to make you fail. But you are on a quest and part of your healing process is to vent and correct the injustices that were done to you as a child. I hope you succeed so that by your example you will give courage to others to right the wrongs that were done to them as well. Hatzlacha Raboh!

  4. This time around, you expressed yourself clean!!! and to the point.. Thanks, keep it clean...

  5. Let me make it very clear to you Mr. Clean. We are going to pursue the molestors in whichever way, clean or unclean, just as unclean as they are, up to their grave, and also after they are in the grave. We will give them hell, with no let up. Reb Nochem our general with his lieutenants are prosecuting the war mercilessly.

  6. I said clean, meaning, not using unclean words.. such As..H.. F... or Sc..bag etc.
    Fighting the battle is crucial...


  8. Ha Ha Ha Ha we should leave and let YOU do the work? What a comedian you are! You guys haven’t done crap in 50 years, and when someone else wants to do it, you make sure to disturb it. Are you kidding me? Your chance is over and your time is over. WE are doing it now and we will do it if you like it or not! As abbi Nuchem said “There is a new sheriff in town, and live with it” we had enough with your ways, we have a better system, and its called 32 years for lebowitz, 30 years for Weingarten, 1,000,00.00 in bail for Goodman, and Prison time for Bruner and indictments for many others. Get used to it my man, no more freebies!

  9. I got use, to all new comers who are smarter and more educated then our geonim, you are the new messiah in town... all the other 612 mitzvas don't exist just mitzvah shal molester is the entire torah, I can't wait when you will cry from pain, after the neshomas of the dead get even with you. chuptzpa and the biggest chillul hashem i have ever come across in this decade. little cocaroaches guiding us oy what a generation where living in..

  10. Perhaps if the big cockroaches would do something and not sit on their asses like they are doing for 40 years, then perhaps the little cockroaches would not have to be busy with protecting OUR children. Sorry that as a father and grandfather I look out for my kids, I know that makes me a real bad person! Get used it to it! New sheriff in town!

  11. my conclusion you and your future generations will be gone from yiddishkite very soon and this is the punishment of shaming people, find me a place anywhere in the history of our torah that a person is refered to a Chazar only you have the odesity.
    calling the kosiver such names is punishment by death..if you dont ask for an apology death will be very agonizing..don't say you were not warned.

  12. Please show me a place in the torah where ones punishment is death for calling the kossover chazir a chazir? That’s exactly what he is! a chazir and a low life for disturbing the job of cleaning our community.

    In addition, we will not shut up just because he decided he is a rabbi now, no no no, it won’t work and we will push the issue until every molester and every supporter of molesters will vanish. Let your name be Hager, Rabinowitz, Teitelbaum or any other “brand name” out there