Before and after

What is a parent’s priority for their children? What makes one a good parent?  Are you a good parent? Does your kid think you are a good parent? Do you care if you are a good parent? Can a rich father be a poor parent? Can a poor father be a rich parent?

“I live for my kids” – “My kids come first” – “I am sticking it out for my kids” “It’s all about my children”. These are quotes you hear from parents, all the time. All the work, effort and sweat a father and mother put in every single day is all about the children. Some marriages are only in existence “because” of the children. Furthermore, you will very often hear a father in shul saying, “If a Rabbi would ever ever touch my child, I will kill him”, “I will go to jail for life for my child”

The above statement and quotes are all very nice, very emotional and I am sure, when the father says it, he really means it! However, actions speak louder than w ords! And unless you are willing to back up what you say, it means nothing!

From the bottom of my heart, I believe every single father when they proclaim their love to their children! I truly believe him when he says he will go to jail for his son! I honestly believe him when he declares a death sentence on the man that molests his child! But let’s take a look at reality. The facts are that ONE OUT OF SIX BOYS are molested. Do you think that one out of six parents don’t love their child? Do you think that the children that are molested are only from broken homes? Do you think that it can’t happen to your child?

Let’s take it to the next step. Most families in our community are somewhere between 4 and 8 kids. Which translates into one of your children is being molested, or has a 99% chance of being molested. And these are not facts by Rabbi Nuchem Rosenberg, these are facts by the US government (some claim that these numbers are way off and the actual numbers are ONE OUT OF FOUR).

So, you have now two options. 1. You can continue reading this article and get away from your computer and convince yourself that I am not talking to you. I am talking to your neighbor and your cousins, but it won’t happen by me. Or, 2. You can start doing something about it.

However, if you choose option one and just convinced yourself that I was not talking to you? Do me one favor! Don’t ever say “If a Rabbi would ever ever touch my child, I will kill him”, “I will go to jail for life for my child”. Because you don’t really mean it, because if you did, you would’ve at least given it some effort and checked it out.  

Are you telling me that after he is molested you are willing to go to jail for him, but before he is molested you are not willing to go up to his school and check the environment?  After he is molested you are willing to go down for murder in order to show love for your little boy, but before he is molested he doesn’t deserve 10 minutes of love that you should request his school does a background check on rabbis and have a video camera in there?  And you are trying to convince me that you LOVE your child?  What kind of love is that? This is like buying life insurance after you die. No one will offer you a policy!

Nuchem Rosenberg is sick and bad and crazy and everything you can imagine. Fine we established that. But where are you? Where are your responsibilities as a parent?

I met this father last week and he told me “I pay enough for the schools that they should protect my child” I almost puked! That is comparable to saying I will not put a camera in my store by the cashier, because I pay them enough money that they should be honest. What kind of nonsense is that? What kind of love is that to your child?

If you are one of the fathers that was angry with Mr. Rubenstein for speaking up to the court in front of his child and showing him love?  Then you have no right in saying “I will go to jail for life for my child”. Because you don’t really mean it, because if you did, you would understand the pain this man had. Why are you willing to kill your childs molester and he doesn’t deserve the right to address his pain and agony in the court. And furthermore, this was not an accusation, this was after he was a CONVICTED MOLESTER!  

There are another two heart-breaking statistic from the Dept. of education. 1. Close to 80% of children that were molested, never tell anyone about it (even a parent). 2. 90% of children that are molested know their molesters (i.e. cousin, uncle, teacher, etc.) In other words, chances are that if your child is molested, you will never know, and the molester is one of your best friends or someone you dance with at chasunas.

And you still think I am talking to your neighbor and not to you!